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ohhh oh i hate the cold the cold the bright it's too shiny make it stop oh oh ohhh Aaaa it's too oh god oh god i don't believe in god but make it stop it's too quiet it's too loud all the sounds are oh god i hate candycanes ice yuck stupid it was okay yesterday maybe sort of it's too bright now too cold my head i might as well be dead oh well. yes all i do is get things done the only significant things in my life are insignificant too oh god i don't want to go to ... again and i don't want to go anywhere no damn islands with beaches and waiters and waitresses and tourguides and busdrivers oh god she sees god in the beautiful things and praises him for the beauty i don't see any beauty especially not now with these chemicals coursing through my blood this peppermint acid corroding my brain Oh where am I oh where where where is the christmas music it's all yucky nothing's good anymore ow a i don't need a ... what do i do? what do i do? just wait and it will go away it will go away and i will be here again still here and it will come back and i will still be insignificant because everything is ugly nothing matters no mad hatters no freaking persons with their freaking big hats ughhh ow i thought these pants were warm but they just make me feel fat fat and ugly and ugly skirts and ugly and ugly and my hair and my face did i have a tan? it fell off of my blank white ugly skin oh oh oh oh ahhhhhhh make some tea some yucky warm tea with cloying sugar ugh where do i go ahhh so go ahead and cry. and then what? then what freaking damn what? damn it. i'm just waiting and waiting not anticipating any damn thing at all so go ahead and whitewash my brain again i does not matter it's christmas day and you can't play regular music and you are sick of christmas music so there is no sound but the silent burning of the bright sun the sun's false promises of warmth so i hate this what oh well. |