---

 
I no longer use a blanket or pillow as I used to when masturbating.
I just press my groin/clitoral region down against the surface I am
lying on, preferably a soft mattress... (humping the mattress?)
This motion goes along well with fantasies about being fucked, or
fucking. It is the same general motion as in the fantasy...
sometimes upside down, but that doesn't seem to matter.
 
Manual (with the hand or fingers) masturbation does not work for me;
it does not mesh at all with any of my fantasies. Someone touching
my genitals - that just doesn't figure into anything that turns me
on, and the slime is a nuisance. What can one do when one has smelly
slime on ones finger? Instead of being able to just go back to sleep
or back to one's fantasy, one has to get up and wash it off.
I'm... pernickety in that way. Sticking a finger or other object into
my vagina doesn't feel particularly good or stimulating either.
 
And even if my fantasy is not about fucking, because other things can
turn me on (and it is generally other things that turn me on, even when
the fantasy does involve fucking)
(such as having one's sworn master break through one's mental shields
because one had refused to lower them oneself, and then being at their
complete mercy...),
non-manual masturbation takes much less conscious effort, and is much
less distracting. Whenever I have been aroused and then tried
manual masturbation, which does take a conscious effort, the erotic
mood is soon totally lost, and any built-up tension just disappears
instead of being pleasantly released.
 
Ho boy, am I really writing this. **uch** **how embarrassing**
 
And of course, fantasies don't have to result in masturbation at all.
There are other reasons to imagine various situations... one can achieve
depths of emotions, feelings that one yearns for, which may be lacking
in everyday reality. Love, comfort, fear, despair, humor, connections,
contentment...
 
 
*
 
back
 

---