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so i can even fantasize about being a female dom with a male sub.
although that doesn't feel as good as being the sub.
and being the dom, i still need to switch my viewpoint
to the sub's occasionally,
to figure out if i'm doing the dom thing right or not.
which seems to indicate that i'm by nature more of a sub.
as if i didn't know that already.
 
when i say a female dom,
i don't mean a female wearing a tight black catsuit
and high heels and saying "oooh! do that, yeah..."
i mean a person like me, genderless but in a female body,
being convincingly dominant and powerful.
and when i say a male sub,
i mean a sub. not just any male.
someone inclined to obey.
someone who deep inside, wants to be controlled.
 
i wasn't a very... convincing... female dom...
even to myself in the fantasy.
maybe with more practice, ie. imagination, i could be.
 
but i can't even scold our dog convincingly.
i imagine if i don't want him to do something,
i need to train him not to,
ie. i need to swat him or yell in an angry tone
so that he associates whatever he was doing with unpleasant results.
but no, to me that doesn't seem right.
one shouldn't train people (or animals) to mindlessly obey,
one should explain to them why their behavior is bothersome,
and hope that is enough to make them change their ways...
yeah, i sure suck at being a dom.
 
maybe because the dog hasn't told me he's a sub,
and that he likes that kind of thing.
so doing it doesn't feel right.
 
although when i speak to him in a commanding tone
and he obeys, it's a powerful feeling.
 
although when i speak to him in a commanding tone
and he doesn't obey, it's a foolish feeling.
 
 
the difference in imagining myself as the sub versus the dom...
being the sub, i can totally let go.
there's such a feeling of peace and relaxation.
i feel loved.
as well as a certain erotic fear
and other things which arouse me.
 
being the dom is pretty much lacking...
sure, it lets me hump the mattress just as well,
but there's just not much else to it.
 
 
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