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december 28, 2003
 
nope.
vegetable sex just doesn't do it for me.
carrots do not turn me on.
the only thing that can arouse me is my own mind.
external implements just get in the way
and distract me.
 
carrots are much more fun to eat
than to use as sex-toys.
 
jeesh.
it's like being one of those cannibalistic spiders.
eating your mate after having had sex with them.
hehehehehehhe....
 
i don't think i'd be any more able to get aroused
being fucked by a real person
than i can by a carrot.
 
just as visual stimuli don't arouse me,
neither do mere physical sensations.
 
even the thought of sex itself
doesn't turn me on.
it takes a much more complicated thought process
to get me into that state.
 
and once i'm there,
having to deal with any external things
just breaks it; ruins it.
pulls me out.
 
being fucked is only a turn-on
when it's my own mind fucking me.
 
and even when i'm in that state
and imagining being fucked,
when i masturbate, it's really my own act of fucking
that brings me to orgasm -
repeatedly pressing my clit area against something.
preferably the mattress.
 
so that's how i can be a switch in my fantasies.
once i've gotten aroused,
i can then imagine being fucked...
or i can imagine doing the fucking
(or not even think about anything at all).
it's all one and the same to me, sensation-wise.
although it is mostly fantasies in the sub-genre
that get me aroused in the first place.
 
i suppose if i ever want to be physically intimate
with a real person
we'd better stick to nonpenetrative methods.
 
or whatever.
 
maybe i'm just too odd.
it'd be too damn complicated.
 
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