| * aug 12, 2006 |
Then again, I am rebellious, to the max, and it only enhances the relationship. I'm what's called a SAM (smart-ass masochist), in that I deliberately misbehave and challenge my Dom because ahh... its fun? I never win, but then I never intend to win, only to be a smart-ass and get smacked down for it. As long as its a game, agreed upon by both people (in this case, we've not quite sat down and said "ok, this is what's going to happen", but we both definitely have connected about this and know what's going on), then there's nothing wrong with the sub being rebellious. My rebellion isn't to protect myself from abuse, its an interesting attempt to see if I can win against my Master in a power struggle. To date, I've won exactly zero times, and I'm delighted with that. A world away from abuse, for sure. from... Submissive Advice wanted |
| * jan 28, 2006 |
Asexual Resource (thread about asexuality) |
| * aug 28, 2005 |
The trickier part may be figuring out how training fits into your relationship. For some people, the training itself is the goal. Once they have a perfectly trained sub, they get bored. Oh good, I'm not the only one who thinks that way! from... Re: Hi all i have a question! |
| * aug 28, 2005 |
So I have a kink towards various forms of submission, I find that doing some things I don't want to do on one level scratches the itch on another level. But other things don't, and while I can do them for various reasons a diet of only that would be actively bad for me. from... Re: question about training |
| * apr 16, 2005 |
Subs test their Dominants: we want to see if you care enough to make us obey you. We die a little if you don't. from... Re: Advice needed |
| * dec 5, 2004 |
(regarding BDSM & married people cheating) |
| * nov 11, 2004 |
Re: Questions (Notes of a Feminist Sadomasochist) Re: Questions |
| * sep 4, 2004 |
Usenet thread... Re: punishment: what does it do for you > So, what DOES punishment--real punishment, not the pretend type--do for me? > > Pretend punishment does nothing whatsoever. I don't want to play games. I want > a lifestyle where someone has the power and I have none. For me to know that I > have no power, that is, for reality to set in, the ramificatins of disobedience > must be real pain, real confinement, real loss of privilege, or humiliation. > The reality of the fact that I asked for a total power exchange and now I've > got it on someone else's real world terms, whether I like it or not, must be > felt and must be beyond my control. The very best way for this reality to set > in is to realize that I must be obiedient EVERY time without question or I will > be punished and the punishment won't be pretend nor will it be gentle. > What do I get from this? I get a feeling that I need. That's the only way to > describe it. It balances my soul. It satisfies me. Scratches the itch. |
| * aug 27, 2004 |
Usenet thread... Avoiding Pitfalls Some interesting comments in that thread. |
| * aug 7, 2004 |
Re: Too nice to be a good Dom? > The other icky bit is that dominance requires two. You don't get to > have it all your own way cos you want it, you get it because you have > convinced the other person that they want to let you have it. > > Not they they have to, but that they want to. > > For some, it's because for each thing they get a kick out of it. For > others it's because the idea of being ordered *by you* gives them a > kick, even if the individual thing doesn't. Re: Too nice to be a good Dom? > If you are going to dominate someone though bondage, learn the damn ropes. |
| * jul 4, 2004 |
Re: Love and BDSM > I'm not a masochist, but I'm submissive, and...letting her do > things to me that I enjoy is a hell of a lot of fun. > > Letting her do things to me that I _don't_ like, that terrify > me...that's _powerful_. |
| * jun 1, 2004 |
Re: Consensual Empowerment > Being manipulative tho as a dominant in the BDSM sense isn't a trait that > most of us tops like. What we do like to be is to feed the submissive's > needs and then adjust them to our own. sounds a bit like... manipulation? heh. |
| * may 28, 2004 |
Consensual Empowerment > ... dominants are skilled at manipulating and coercing their > submissives. These skills are an essential part of domination. > Submissives (some all?) are responsive to being manipulated and > coerced. ... |
| * jan 8, 2004 |
Re: Off of Foole/Flambe ongoing debate...what if your sub is the one to create the mindfuck, all on their own? for reference. my first (successful) post in this group, to this thread. Re: Foole Flambe/real fear >A particular "mindfuck" presents possibilities. >So you tie sir to the train tracks, just before the locomotive thunders by on >the adjoining track. It does. You "enjoy" watching sir endure. Ha. Very interesting. I can actually visualize that. (I was having difficulty visualizing any real situations that would cause such an intense fear.) If one did not die from a stress-induced heart-attack in this situation... One would be very shaky afterwards. And perhaps one would be very seriously hating the person who had done that do them. And perhaps one would be wanting to lash out at them. Or perhaps to simply leave and have nothing further to do with that person. Or perhaps... a combination of extreme hate and affection and endorphins... Oooh, I hate you... Oooh, you're tricky... How could you... You little... I don't know whether to strangle you... or to kiss you... Ooooh!!! See, there's that mental issue coming into it again. In real life, it would not be fun at all. But once one starts imagining things into it... Imagining the sly, cruel and caring trickster wanting to give you the rush of your life... and having trust in your ability to handle it... Someone you deeply trust and care for, playing an extremely cruel joke on you... for amusement... It seems like an almost-fun thing. Yes, very interesting indeed. I wonder if I could ever deeply trust and care for a real-life human in that way. And if I could still deeply trust and care for them after that kind of a "joke". But my god, scaring a poor non-consenting train conductor like that wouldn't be a good thing, at all. I suppose they'd have to rent the locomotive and let the conductor in on the joke. Purely a theoretical consideration, of course. And then again, if you really trusted the person, it wouldn't be nearly as scary anyway. At least, if you really trusted the person's intelligence, not to do something that could go foolishly wrong, in addition to trusting them not to put you into a situation of certain death. If you trusted like that, the resulting emotions would be much less interesting. |
| * jan 4, 2004 |
first, the links to the entire threads: soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm "Foole Flambe" thread soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm "Re: Foole Flame/real fear" thread post ...n > The thing is, you cannot ever be truly sure, no matter how physically > helpless _you_think_ you've made them, that they indeed have no power > to do anything [about] their situation. Oh Jay, Jay, Jay, dear Jay, you are so very mistaken. What you go on to say is true, provided that I am not in utter control and that the bottom does indeed have a way to retaliate--but I'm not that sloppy. I've been doing this for far too long. heh heh. sweet. post ...n+x > Yeah....and...so freakin' what? Ah, you are being an asshole, aren't you. heh. it's interesting, how phrasing a crude "you're an asshole" in that manner comes off as being sophisticatedly polite. post ...n+y seems sensible. post ...n+z "I don't particularly get into making somebody think I'm going to kill them--I want him to wonder if I am going to kill him, which is a very different thing." hehh... all that debate about making a sub think they will really be killed, and then the original person who wrote about it says this. which is more along how i was reading the original post anyway. "I speak very little, and spend long stretches of time sitting and watching silently. It's unnerving, quite effectively so." mmmm. damn smooth. |
| * december 28, 2003 |
soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm post re: Fear whoa. ::totally melts:: but seriously, that's quite good for a read or for a fantasy, but in real-life, who'd be playing (or whatever you'd call it) with someone they didn't trust enough not to kill them? unless they do have that trust initially, but forget it or begin doubting it during the intensity of the experience? doesn't sound like such a situation would be much fun... although one might get a mega-rush afterwards... or on the other hand, maybe it would be fun, in a super-duper non-fun way. phew. ::shivers:: |
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